Blogging With Mommy

Yesterday was the first day of school in Michigan. I spent part of both the day and night getting kids off to school, filling out forms, and attending orientations. As I sat in my son’s preschool orientation, I was reminded of the volunteer requirements associated with the program and my heart stopped.

On multiple occasions throughout the year a parent – aka Mom – must bring in snacks and stay for the duration of the preschool session to assist the teacher in activities and help control the inevitable chaos that is created by twenty four year olds. The “snack and stay” requirement makes my stomach flip and not in a good way. I immediately felt stressed as my mind wondered about fulfilling this obligation and also adhering to the constraints of my job. Then it hit me – I quit my job and started my own consulting firm. I am my own boss and I can set my own hours. As long as I meet the deadlines and expectations of my clients I’m good to go.

I pondered this for a minute, because at this point, I realize the irony in it all. My former employer was actually led by a man who put everything above family. He was a man who would schedule business trips around tennis matches and dance recitals. Of all people, he would understand. I did not. The internal need to exceed at every single task put a great deal of stress upon my OCD self. The need to please my company and be available at any time, was probably more me than them. Nonetheless, I had constant stress from trying to please everyone and do so all the time.

Today I feel I have reached the coveted Yin and Yang of motherhood. I can truly have a professional career that I love and I can participate in my children’s activities as much as is needed. I feel balance and I didn’t realize this until my mini panic attach at orientation.

I find myself not only balanced, I am thankful.

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